Reason For Living
by usmccanthem
Summary: Akira was a normal teenager, when she was one day thrown from her world to Konoha's forests. Struggling to live in a new world and the loss of her past life, will she be able to find a reason to live? Some mature themes. Read and Review! Kakashi/OC


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and I don't know Japanese so sorry for any mistakes made.

Warning: Contains mature themes (cutting and thoughts of suicide) and swearing.

Description: Akira was a normal teenager, when she was one day thrown from her world to Konoha's forests. Struggling to live in a new world and the loss her past life, will she be able to find a reason to live?

Rating: M (just in case)

Prompt: Why do you live?

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**My Reason For Living**

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Do you remember sitting in class wondering why you didn't kill yourself from boredom? Or that time you pushed yourself so hard that you felt like you would die from the pain – emotionally and physically – you were in? What was your reason for continuing on? Why do you continue your monotonous life? There are many different reason; some want to survive another day, some are afraid of death, some do it because they don't want to leave some one behind. I live because of a mirage of reasons, but it wasn't until recently I had a true reason: him. He was the reason I currently lived on.

I'm a normal person, or what I classify as normal. I'm an only child, love my parents (though sometimes I think my mom would be better off without my dad), I went to school, had friends, played sports, graduated and even got myself a nice job as a line cook. Okay, I was quiet too much, lazy, occasionally irresponsible and started skipping once I realized I could, but still that is quite normal for a teenage girl. However, my life changed drastically one day when I found myself not in my house, but outside. I was in a forest that much I could tell from the greenery and the strong smell of pine contrasting with the smell of copper. Then the pain hit in one massive wave, making me almost pass out for it was too much for me to handle. I wasn't used to pain, I generally avoided it at all costs, but this _hurt _was unexpected; unwanted. I tried to avoid thinking about it, but it throbbed to life every time I managed to relax.

Then his face came into view, or as much of it I could see, which wasn't much. His dark eye (I was delirious, give me a break on the minor details) stared at me critically, while his other eye was covered with a headband; a mask of the same dark colour covered the rest of his face.

"Sakura," he had barked out, with a foreign lit to it, making me guess his was from the east. "Heal her enough to travel." He spoke in Japanese, a language I was suddenly thankful I was fluent in (something I had learned when I found out my friend mostly spoke Japanese at home). I blacked out after that, but I remembered the hard look in the man's eye. A look I'd seen in my father's face when he talked about his time in the army. The look of a soldier, a killer: a survivor.

When I woke up – how long I was out I do not know – I felt better, the pain no longer as strong, but not fine in any way, shape or form. There was a woman in front of me; she asked me questions, ones I do not remember. I answered, still too delirious to really care what was going on. She left after a while, so I guess whatever I answered satisfied her. Or at least I think I did, I'm not entirely sure what language I was speaking in at the time. But I was already fading by the time she had left the room.

Coming to the next time, I found myself strangely numb, and slightly high. It was such a better feeling than before. Free. The room I found myself in was much nicer than the last. White walls, white sheets, and the machines all stating that _I _was in a hospital. I don't like hospitals. Maybe they'll give me a Popsicle like I got last time. I giggled. Then hummed, it sounded pretty. A cough interrupted my humming. I turned to see an old man, white goatee, wrinkles and wise eyes showed that he had lived quite some time. He also wore a funny hat with the kanji for 'fire' on his head and billowy robes.

"Welcome, to Konoha Yamichi-san." He smiled kindly at me. I recognized the false last name as the one my best friend Aisa had given me, so that I wouldn't stand out for having such a white name: Angus isn't very Japanese at all. "I am the Sandaime Hokage."

I smiled at him, which probably looked funny considering how drugged up I was. His smile never changed though, so who knows. The Hokage waved to a person I hadn't seen enter, he looked familiar. "This is Hatake Kakashi, he will be in charge of you for a couple of weeks until you mange to settle in." The old man got up, patted my head, which felt funny and left with a simple good bye.

I, with all my drugged up intelligence, looked at the white haired man beside me and told him with a slurred voice, "Remind what happened when I'm not completely drugged up." Then I lost all comprehension and started to hum until I was asleep.

Kakashi, as he had asked me to call him, did indeed remind of everything that had happened, and helped me get on my feet during the six weeks that I stayed with him. He was forever courteous and even gave his _Icha Icha _novels to read (which were quite good once one over looked some of grammatical errors). I learned some of the local food, and became a cook at the local barbeque restaurant, earning enough to pay for rent in the room next to Kakashi's student Naruto. The landlord managed to fix the hot water problem, and the lock problem, and the electricity problem and the mold problem and the... well you get the idea, that he had been putting off for so long by the time I moved in. It made the place much nicer for me and Naruto who was becoming like the little brother I never had.

Not everything was perfect though. Especially during those days when there was no Naruto, or work or even Kakashi (he stopped by every so often after I moved out, probably just to make sure I didn't go on a rampage) to distract me. Those days I sat on my couch and stared at the wall, unmoving for hours, thinking. I'd cry during that time. Cry for no longer having parents, for not being able to live my life like I had, for losing my friends. I remembered those days when I'd lay beside my mom at night and just talk, about everything and nothing. Or the times when I'd pick my dad up from work and we'd talk about music or his work or a movie we'd both like to watch. And hanging out with my friends, having to do nothing but sit there and listen to their problems. Or just surfing the internet looking for something interesting to read or look at like pictures of hot guys or silly memes.

I'd cry for everything. Sometimes I'd hurt myself, using a razorblade. Just to verify my existence in this new world; to see the red blood drip freely from my arm and the pain from the cut to tell me that yes I am here. I never thought that I would do that, I was normal right? But I had accidentally cut myself one time during that alone time and watching the blood flow was fascinating and invigorating that I did it again, and again. Eventually I couldn't stop myself, but it was only when I was alone. No one knew what I did during my time when I was utterly alone, and I was thankful for that because after those times, people would visit again. Maybe it was a friend from work, or Naruto coming back from training, or even Kakashi making sure I didn't have a pipe bomb hidden in with the celery.

After a while though, I started wondering if it was worth living, because cutting wasn't working anymore, especially after I found out about what happened at the Chuunin Exams. A Sannin marking a child, trying to kill another, Kakashi pushing Naruto – sweet, loyal Naruto – to the side to train Sasuke because of the council; corruption so thick you could barely swim in it. I no longer liked Konoha, I no longer wanted to be here, in this world so full of death and prejudice.

So I decided to end my life.

The night before my planned suicide I went on a walk throughout the city I hated to see Kakashi kneeling in front of the Memorial Stone, head bent, and shoulders shaking. I walked up to him, and when he made no move to indicate that I was even there, I kneeled beside him. I said nothing, I didn't move, but I was there if he needed me, like he was there (ordered or not) for me during my first few weeks here.

Time passed and eventually he moved enough to whisper to me, "Why do I live anymore?" His visible eye searched mine in desperation.

It reminded me of the time I had walked into my parents room one night. My dad had a nightmare, a bad one, and my mom just sat there beside him as he asked 'why do I go on? Why do I care about the bills or work or the shit we put up with every day? Why?' My mom turned to him and said very simply 'Because you have me, your daughter Akira, your brother and aunts and the cat and whoever else that matters to you. You go on because you have people that need you and rely on you. You go on because your strong enough not to take the easy way out and hurt everyone more than you now hurt.' So I did as my mom had done and told him, "You live because people care for you, and you care for others. Maito Gai might bother the living shit out of you but you still care, you might not see the other jounin sensei's often but they care enough to rib you when you're late, and Iruka-san is there to yell at you for endangering his students safety, and Sakura-san is there to scold you for being a pervert and Naruto's there to be a big ball of loud, annoying sunshine. They annoy you, you avoid them, but you still care. So you don't let yourself die on a mission or kill yourself. If you think no one else cares then at least you know I do, if only to watch in amusement as you check my house for pipe bombs." I let out a shaky laugh at the end as I watched him snicker a bit at everything I said.

"Naruto was hurt," he told me after he got a hold of himself; the serious air returning once again."Sasuke almost killed him; he certainly tried to, with my Chidori of all things." He seemed to collapse on himself with a choked sob, "If I hadn't taught him that –"

I cut in on his sentence, knowing a self-pitying rant from my own inner musings. "Then he would've used a different technique that might've actually killed Naruto." I put my hand on his shoulder. "Don't beat yourself up about it," I said half to him and half to myself, realizing I needed to hear my own words. "It's not your fault, you didn't tell him to kill Naruto, just like I didn't tell the world to create a dimensional rift the day I was transported here. You should be happy Naruto's alive, because Kami-sama knows he's been though much worse and survived. Have faith and make sure you let Naruto-kun know you care, because you might be surprised just how much he cares back." I closed my eyes, and steadied myself; shaking off my thoughts of leaving this world for another day, squeezing Kakashi's shoulder. "Go home, get some sleep, and find something to live for okay?" I looked into his visible eye hard; looking to see if he had truly listened to my words. I nodded when I saw what I was looking for before I got up, brushing the dust off my pants and walked away.

I stopped when I heard his soft voice ask, "Can you come stay with me?" The question was almost too quiet for me to hear, but I heard it and turned around to look at him with a soft smile.

"Well, let's go then," I said cheerfully as I walked toward his apartment. He caught up with me, and bumped his shoulder with mine, silent thanks in his motions.

When we got there he gave me a baggy shirt and a clean pair of boxers, which I took with a quiet "thanks" before I went to the bathroom to change, using the spare toothbrush, other necessities that I knew he had from my stay there. When we were both done with the bathroom, he ushered me to his room, instead of the guest room, where I laid down on the right side of the bed, on my side slightly uncomfortable with having to share a bed (I hadn't shared a bed in ten years, unless you count the cat, but I don't). He got comfortable beside me and threw and arm around my middle, pulling me close and holding me there.

"Goodnight Akira," he whispered.

"Night," I whispered back, relaxing finally into his hold. As my breath evened out, and I knew that I had found something to live for. For this moment when Kakashi's breath evened out, when his heart beat matched mine beat for beat; for me just being around to bring someone else comfort. My reason to be alive was to be someone else's reason to live, to be their strength. And I was perfectly happy to live in a shithole to do it.

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_The End_

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**A/N:**

I don't really know what started this. Maybe I really wanted to write a Naruto fan fiction, but have completely failed all other attempts... yeah that actually happened. I started this like two weeks ago, and I just finally finished it, so my writing really sucks (and is kind of depressing) but I can't help it. My other stories that I have currently on the go won't be touched until I am slightly less angsty and more... creative. Anyway, read and review. No flames.

Thanks,

USMCcAnthem


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